For a while now I've been going back and forth in my heart as to whether I can homeschool. There are so many factors that have been swirling around and I've finally realized that it's not up to me. Isn't God in control (so long as we allow Him to be and not try to do things our way or try to figure them out ourselves....) in all situations?
My main dilemma has been whether I can personally handle (ahem, be patient enough) to homeschool my children. There has never been a question as to whether I think it's the right way to go or not, the question has always been my patience level (which, to be completely honest, is seriously limited - I know, I know, God is dealing with me on that one).
We've always known that for us, plublic school was NOT an option. No question there. And until recently I thought we'd just send them to private school (preferrably one associated with the Reformed Presbyterian Church), that is until I really started researching it. We don't live in a huge city, approx. 500,000 people, and we are in a seemingly more liberal city than we were in Oklahoma, so our options are limited as it is. There are a grand total of THREE christian schools here and one of them is totally out of the question solely based on tuition and other fees.... Of the other two, we definitely prefer one (Evangelical Christian Academy) based on theology, academics and the fact that it's a non-evangelizing school - meaning they don't let just anyone in, there is a very stringent application process, including the parents profession of faith, proof of baptism, personal interview with the elementary head-master - and a few other things. This school would be barely affordable (even with Michael's raise that he'll be getting in July) and I'm not so sure we'd ever be able to afford sending a second child there. So basically, Jacob would get a good education for a couple of years and then we'd be teetering on having to pull him out because we wouldn't be able to afford to have Eli there also (of course, Michael is in the USAF and we would probably move before we'd have to cross that bridge, but you never know what God's plans are). Whew, a lot to chew on, right? I know for a lot of people it sounds really simple (and logistically and monetarily it's pretty clear to me, too) but I know myself, I know my tendency to be a lot less patient with my children - especially when teaching them - than I should be and well, it has been a difficult decision for me.
I've been spending a lot of time in prayer about this (and my patience issue) and am pretty sure I've come to the conclusion that I AM suppose to homeschool our children. To be completely honest, it scares me to know that I have this responsibility. But at the same time I know that as long as I continue to trust in Him, God will provide thru my personal challenges and give me the ability to be the teacher he wants me to be!
A lot of people worry about how to manage their time to include school AND all of the necessary homemaker things, others worry about 'socialization' of their children, while still others worry whether they'll still be able to teach their children when they get into the highschool years and need more indepth and precise teaching, I think it's kind of comical that I haven't worried about those things personally. I think God has taken care of all that in my heart/mind so that I can focus on the major issue at hand - not yelling or getting frustrated so easily and shaping my childrens' hearts to be loving, patient and kind, while at the same time teaching me to be all those things.
There will be more to this post (materials, curriculum, what we already do, etc.), but I'll just leave you with what I've said for now.
I also covet your prayers in this area of my life. I know God is doing something great and I want to be ready for it and the changes He's making in me!