You Capture - Kisses!

I have the perfect photo for this week's You Capture!

Anytime I'm on Skype with Michael (he's in Iraq) or have a photo of him up on the monitor, Rachael finds her way into my lap and shimmies herself up until she's level with (and an inch from) the monitor and begins her smooch-fest with daddy!!  She goes on and on about "dada" telling me all sorts of things and kissing the monitor.

She is absolutely in love with her daddy and it has to be the most heart-melting thing.  EVER.

This post is linked to: You Capture.

Love, true love!

I really don't want to get all sappy on you... well, maybe just this once!

I just want say what a blessing it is to have a husband that does not take his role as "daddy" lightly?  This man cherishes his children immensely and understands what a task God has put before us as parents - to raise them to become God fearing adults.

As most of you know, Michael is currently deployed, and I know leaving the children was probably the hardest part of the "goodbye" process (not because he doesn't love/miss me, but because I won't forget him or grow taller or learn how to talk or lose my first tooth while he's away). 

As a Christmas gift to the kids, he left me with these cute little things to wrap for them and have them open on Christmas day:

Unassuming little stuffed animals, right?  Not at all.  Instead, any time they are feeling especially lonely for daddy, have a rough day or are sad, they can be comforted by this:

Michael recorded a different greeting in each one and they LOVE them!

And I love that they can hear Michael's voice any time they want, they don't have to wait for a phone call or video!

This post is linked to Finer Things Friday.

You Capture - family

This was actually taken weekend before last, but I just love it so much! It truly shows who we are! We are at a stage where it is very difficult to take a photo of all 5 of us because the boys never want to sit still and Rachael seems to just copy them when she can! Just getting everyone looking in the general direction of the camera is challenging, but creates the best shots that really depict what this family is like.

This was taken on the Pueblo River Walk.

Be sure to visit Beth's site for more amazing family photos.

A sampling of outtakes

This is what happened when we tried (read: failed) to get a decent photo after our resurrection service today. All I really wanted was all the kids looking at the camera at the same time!!
Eli and Rachael were yelling at each other!!

Rachael was falling off Jacob's lap and Eli forever has this silly face on...

This is the best one we got... Not sure what's going on with Eli and why he's so upset though.

Total chaos!

2008 in review

I thought I'd put together a short photo compilation of 2008. I tried to narrow it to one photo for each month, but January had a lot of special times so there are several photos from January.

JANUARY

A big boy turns 4.

Precious new life began.

Family

Family

FEBRUARY

Growing . . .

MARCH

Last major snow of the season.

APRIL

Pneumonia

MAY

Turning 2.

JUNE

T-ball Season

JULY

Goofballs!

AUGUST

Fun times!

SEPTEMBER

That precious new life is with us now!

OCTOBER

Afternoon at the park

NOVEMBER

First 'real' haircut.

DECEMBER

Family

Christmas photos with outtakes!

We went to Sears to have our annual family/Christmas photos made yesterday and it actually went much more smoothly than I anticipated. Usually someone melts down just a little bit into the session, but this time, they all held up pretty well!!

This is the photo we chose to use for our cards. Everyone looks pretty good in this one and it was actually the first photo taken!!

Now, here are a few of the not-so-good ones:

Jacob being a goofball and having a cheesy grin!

Rachael looks like she's about to fall over in this one!

And Eli being himself!!

I'm participating in DesignHerMomma's outtake carnival, so hop on over and check out the others!

Thanksgiving

Thanksgiving is 2 days out and I haven't even decided what (or if) I'm going to prepare. It's just the five of us. No family close by. No visitors or friends coming over. A few times in the past we've been invited somewhere - not this year. All of our friends have family close by and are spending the holiday with them, I think. So, my dilemma is, since Jacob is going to be 5 in January, is it time to start our own family tradition for Thanksgiving?

I remember Thanksgivings growing up because my grandma (mom's mom) would always fix a huge feast and everyone that lived in town (many years this also included my dad's mom) would come over for lunch and then spend some time hanging out. Nothing spectacular or extravagant, but the food and fellowship was always wonderful.

I want this for my children, but in reality, Thanksgiving Day for us, isn't really much different than any other meal of the week. The food might be different, but that would probably be the extent of it. Last year we had pizza and watched football, sort of like any regular Saturday during football season, just on Thursday instead.

What would you do (or what do you do if you are in the same boat)? Any traditions you'd like to share?

Holding my baby a little closer.

I find myself holding my darling little girl a little tighter and more often than I ever held the other two.

I simply sit and watch her - in awe.

I hold her and smell her and stroke her soft skin.

It's not because I love her more than the boys or am giving her any preferential treatment, it's solely because my heart longs to hold on to this baby stage (and every stage) as long as possible because I know there will never be another biological child in my future.

I cry.

My mind knows that if God leads us to it, there is always adoption. I also know that if this is where God chose for us to stop, then it's His will and He is sovereign and His plan is always perfect - even if it hurts and we don't understand.

But my heart still aches.

Birth control - I'm overwhelmed

I had my follow up from the blood clot, hemorrhaging and D&C last Tuesday and I left feeling totally overwhelmed and so very sad (don't worry it's not post partum depression). The dr. and I discussed how well I've recovered from everything and how I just feel tremendously different and BETTER! He scheduled me for another CAT scan as a follow up and I'll need some more blood work to test for genetic clotting factors after I've finished my treatment for the clot in my lung - in a year.

But we also discussed the fact that due to the complications I've faced after my last 2 births, it is in my best interest to NEVER get pregnant again. My mind knows that this is best, because truly, another birth could cost me my life and I'm not okay with that. However, my heart hurts so badly right now that I'm tearing up just typing this post.

Michael and I had been discussing having another child and I was pretty certain that was the direction God was leading us (guess I had that one all wrong).

CAVEAT: I know not everyone will believe the same way I do about birth control, so please just take this as my own personal conviction and not a judgement against anyone else's choice for birth control. What's right for me is not right for everyone and I understand that.

So, birth control was discussed in depth and I have to say that this dr. was very accomodating to our beliefs. I WON'T do hormonal birth control (pills, IUD, Nuva Ring, etc.) for several reasons: * our hormones were never intended to be messed with just to prevent a pregnancy, * I am a high risk for another clot and therefore cannot take certain hormonal varieties anyway, * The other huge problem I have is the abortafacient factor in that most birth control varieties make the lining of the uterus un-hospitable for a fertilized egg to implant - basically meaning that if you do happen to ovulate on the pill and you have a fertilized egg, your uterus cannot accept the egg because the lining isn't thick enough to allow it to implant, thus aborting the baby - granted you'd never know it happened, but I could not live with the thought that I could possibly be aborting babies unknowingly.

In the past, we've relied solely on the barrier method and charting (NFP concepts) and have only gotten pregnant when it was planned and we knew God was directing us that the timing was right to begin 'trying'. However, that is no longer good enough, because no matter how perfectly you use your 'barrier' and how accurately you chart your temperature, mucus and other fertility signs, there is still a decent chance of getting pregnant. For most people an unplanned pregnancy would be ok - while maybe not an ideal circumstance, life would go on and adjustments would be made and things would turn out ok in the end. For me, this is definitely not the case - things likely would NOT turn out ok in the end if I were to get pregnant again.

So, we are left with permanent birth control as our only option. And it's not me who will have to have the procedure. My body cannot endure another surgery (possibly for the entirety of my life) and a tubal ligation is done under general anesthesia as a laparascopic procedure. So, we're down to one last option - a vasectomy. I think it scares me as much as it does Michael. The dr. even said, "call me when he's ready for a consult and I'll put in the referral to the urologist for him." Oy - he's totally serious that we do something quickly.

In a perfect situation we would be older making this decision. But since neither of us is even 30 yet, it's very difficult. Our biggest concern is what if something happens to me and Michael remarries one day and what if he wants more children? While I don't plan on anything happening to me (and there won't ever be a divorce), we truly don't know what God's ultimate plans are for any of us and making such a permanent decision is... well, tough. I know that it can be reversed and if that doesn't work there are other ways of achieving pregnancy, but that still doesn't settle my heart.

Prayer - that's what is needed in this situation. Your added prayers in this situation are coveted and greatly appreciated. Pray for direction and that we'll have peace about the situation.

Overwhelmed

I know I have been missing from the blogosphere lately and I'm going to tell you why.

I am totally and utterly overwhelmed with life at this point in time.

* Hubby has been taking two classes each week (thankfully they ended on Wednesday) leaving him home only long enough to change out of his uniform and grab a bite to eat and not returning home until after I'm asleep, typically. These 2 classes (since they are short terms 5 weeks) have required LOTS of homework consisting of reading, writing papers and participating in message boards online - leaving very little time for much else on the evenings he's actually at home.
* Jacob was sick last week, hubby has been VERY sick this week and Eli now has it, too!
* Hubby has also been playing softball one evening each week, which puts him away from home most of the evening and this won't be over for several more weeks. Even though I typically take the kids to the games, it requires much extra work on my part to make sure they are playing safely and don't run out in the road or onto the field.
* Hubby has also hit end of year crunch (end of fiscal year for the military) and has started getting overloaded at work and working extra to try to keep up.
* I am 34 weeks pregnant and my brain has turned to mush....

Needless to say, I am READY to have my husband back. I don't think we've had a meaningful conversation in WEEKS and most of our conversations are either by email or text..... UGH.

Since my brain has turned to mush and being overwhelmed leaves me not really wanting to do anything (and being this far along in pregnancy tends to make me feel lazy, too), I am so far behind on things around the house that it's truly sad. Here's what has happened:

* No homeschooling for several weeks
* I vacuumed yesterday for the first time in about 3 weeks
* I have been feeding my family much more processed food than I consider acceptable
* Jacob ran completely out of shorts to wear a few days ago because I was slacking on laundry. (needless to say, ALL laundry is caught up after that because it made me feel horrible to put him in a pair of shorts that didn't fit)
* My series on modesty is on the back burner because that requires A LOT of brain power and reasearch and the ability to put coherent thoughts together.
* My grass hasn't been cut in nearly 3 weeks (it's up to Eli's knees) because Michael was sick this week and I have been asked not to cut the grass at this late stage of pregnancy - oh, and it's raining today, so it won't happen today either.
* I have one diaper that still needs to be sewn and 3 that need snaps
* I got behind with my work and am just getting caught up this weekend.
* My kids attitudes are reflecting my current attitude and I don't like it at all.

Whew - I pray that God will give me strength to make it through the next few weeks until this baby arrives. I can make it on a little sleep deprivation much easier than I can on a non-functioning brain. I know God can and will sustain me (and the rest of our family) through this time and am fully relying on Him to direct me. I also pray that my children will come out of this mommy-slump unscathed and getting them back on track will not be as difficult as I'm imagining it will be.

Any prayers you might think to offer up on behalf of our family would be greatly appreciated.

Fun weekend!

Wow! It's Monday again!

We had an absolutely wonderful weekend that I must tell you about!

Michael took the day off on Friday and we had a family day spent in Denver. We went to the Aquarium (tickets purchased at a discount on base!), had a picnic lunch in the park and went to the Denver Museum of Science in Nature (free for military families!!!!). Then we had dinner at CiCi's pizza, I know, not the healthiest place to eat but it's rare because we don't have a CiCi's in Colorado Springs.

Saturday was very busy with Jacob's t-ball pics at 7:30, his first t-ball game at 8:00 and then a birthday party for one of our friends (who is only 2 weeks younger than Eli) complete with water slide and kiddie pool!! The boys had a blast!

Sunday was spent relaxing after church. I made a quick trip to Walgreens and Dollar Tree in search of new water guns (all of ours were broken). Other than that, we didn't go anywhere. Michael's request for Father's Day was to watch the PGA golf in the afternoon and he was wonderful to record it on the DVR and watch it delayed so he could spend some time outside with the kids spraying them with the water hose!!

Sonic Manipulator

Melbourne, Australia is amazing! Though I've been here before (in 2002), I am just now realizing it is probably the best city I've ever been to! Mind you, I've never been to NYC to have that to compare it to.... The city is fairly large by my standards - about 4 million people - but the people are friendly, the city is old, but not OLD, it is well laid out and has (in my opinion) the best public transit system in the world. You can go anywhere in a reasonable amount of time and at a reasonable price using public transportation here. The system includes trains, trams and buses and it's wonderful and you use the same tickets for them all!

Big cities have such a wonderful atmosphere (once you can get past all the crazy people!!). We have gone into the city in the evening several times without the children - but usually with one or more of Michael's siblings (he has 5) and it's been so wonderful. We have gone to some of Michael's old hangouts from when he was younger and lived here and we've done A LOT of walking. During our walks we have come across some amazing buskers (street performers)....

One night we came across a Sweedish (he spoke english!) magician doing a show, so we stopped to watch. About 3 minutes in he called ME up to be his assistant for about 10 minutes!! Crazy! And some of the tricks/illusions he performed were completely baffling.


This is me with the magician after his performance and my wonderful assisting!





We've come across lots of other street performers, as well: one guy was drawing art on the sidewalks with chalk - and he was really good at it; we've seen lots of people playing keyboards, guitars and drums made of 5 gallon buckets; and even a guy who had his upright piano on wheels and had brought it with him - but by far, the best performer we've seen is The Sonic Manipulator.



This guy is amazing. I took this video last night. We like him so much we've gone to see him on 3 different occassions! After the first time we saw him, we came home and looked him up on You Tube to see what we could find!

He has posted a video that he made to give the public a little information about him. He has done so well in his performances that he lives solely off the income he makes doing his performances and he only performs on Thursday, Friday and Saturday nights in the city (usually at one of 3 intersections). He has a website and can be hired for parties, as well!! Crazy! Oh yeah, and he makes all of his own instruments/sound machines, etc.

Australia update

I know it's been a while but we've been super busy.....

* The first 3 days were spent with Michael's dad and stepmom (the kids were at summer camp) in Melbourne.
* Then we drove about 8 hours to Adelaide where Michael's grandparents all live as well as one uncle and aunt and their 5 kids (we stayed with the uncle and aunt) and one of Michael's cousins who is married with 5 yr old twins. We spent a week in Adelaide visiting with all the cousins and grandparents and were there to help Michael's grandma (his mom's mom) celebrate her 89th birthday!
* We then drove back to Melbourne, which is where we will be for the rest of our trip.

Because it's nearly impossible to chronicle our entire trip, I've created a slide show. It's fairly long but is a good sampling of what we've been doing. I've narrowed it down to approximately 25 photos of the more than 1,500 that I've taken so far.....