Wednesday, April 2, 2008

"Are you Mormon?"

Disclaimer: This post is not intended to offend anyone or judge anyone else's beliefs. This is my family's personal belief.

I am not asking you, the reader, this question... this is actually a question I have been asked several times over the last few years. Why? Because we want more than two children!! Seriously, that is why some people ask us this question.

I was having a coversation with a mom who is my age (with children who are 3 & 1) a few months ago and she actually just came right out and said "so, does that mean you're a mormon?" We were discussing children and how Michael and I wanted more (this was before I got pregnant with the one I'm currently carrying) and that's how the conversation went.

I know it's well known that, in general, Mormons (along with a few other 'religions/denominations') typically have several children. I'm not sure if it's because they don't believe in birth control, or if they simply allow God to bless them with however many children he chooses, or for some other reason.

I don't really know a lot about very many other 'cultures', so I can't tell you what it's like in other countries, but I think there is some unspoken rule in this country that you are NOT suppose to want more than two kids. If it happens, oops, but you can never actually plan to have more than that. In my opinion, this is a terrible way of thinking. I believe God created us to "be fruitful and multiply" and following His will is #1. Trusting in God is the only way to do anything. This includes the number of children you have. God should determine that - not society, family trends, finances, etc. I belive if you truly trust God and put all things at His feet, the rest will fall into place (not to say that doesn't take a tremendous amount of faith, obedience and going-against-the-world, but isn't that what God commands anyway?)

This is not to say that I'm judging those who have decided to stop at one or two children, because that would be wrong of me. I just wish more people would prayerfully consider what God really wants for their lives and truly let God lead them in the proper direction (not just in this, but in all things).

How many children will we have? I honestly don't know. God has not given us a number. We take it one at a time and if we feel that God is leading us to have another after this one, then we will definitely do so.

PS - I only have 2 siblings, but Michael has SIX. His parents were divorced when he was very young (around 2) and they both remarried when he was also young. His mom went on to have one more child (I'm not sure of circumstances, this may have been a medical decision....because she has many times mentioned how she would have liked to have had more) and his dad went on to have FIVE more children. Michael's dad is also one of FIVE and 4 of those 5 children all have more than 2 children of their own.


Sarah said...

Okay, so I'm now Catholic (though recently so! :) and I'm sort of in a similar boat as you. Though we only have one now, I'm in a mommies group and one mom has one, and wants no more, one is excited to be getting started on her "second and last" and another friend, who is only 28, has given birth to two and has a step son and is happy to be "done." It's sad. Contrastingly, when they ask me, I say, "well, we're thinking between three to five, but we're open to life." They don't "Get" it. They're shocked that I'd consider that many. But, like you mention in your post, we sort of plan, but I'm allowing God to choose (we use NFP).

Anyway, thanks for this post and have a great week!


PS - My parents come from four and six, each, and I have tons of cousins and family, but my hubby has a very small family. . . and when we began to talk about "our" family he wanted more of a large, even crazy family atmosphere like mine than what he grew up with, so were making our own!

PPS - Best of luck and prayers for your pregnancy!

The Fischer Family said...

I found your post from Sarah's (above) and had to post a comment. I was raised Mormon- I'm currently Catholic and I can say that the reason Mormons tend to have many children is due to the fact that they believe children are a supreme gift from the creator and that life should be embraced no matter what strain it may put on the families finances or "lifestyle". How sad is that people assume if you want more than one or two children these days you must be uber religious! I just love my kids and want at least two more (we currently have 2) But I thank you for posting this and I hope the rest of the country will wake up and realize what a blessing our children are, instead of a burden! Have a great week and God bless!