Discombobulated

I'm all whacked out. I knew daylight savings time would mess up my kids as it always does, but I wasn't prepared for it to mess me up, too.

We DID remember there would be a time change and we DID set alarms for church on Sunday. So imagine my surprise when Michael woke me up Sunday morning and said we had overslept (fortunately, only by 30 minutes). What... Knowing that I've taught myself how to sleep thru Michael's alarm clock, I never set mine, I always set the alarm on my phone. Saturday night I checked my phone to make sure it would update the time change automatically and then set the alarm, only thing is it didn't update when it was suppose to. By the time it updated, I was already in the shower.

The day didn't get much better from there. We ended up not going to church because Rachael and Eli were coughing uncontrolably. And everyone was just cranky for most of the day.

Later in the evening, after dinner, I went out to run a few errands and my day just got worse. I ended up not getting to go to the two places I really wanted to go (thrift store and Michael's) because they were closed. The extended daylight fooled me and it was later than I thought. GAH!

When I got home (around 9:30), Eli was STILL awake. Michael had put him to bed normal time, but with the time change, his body thought it was only 7:00. We expected it to be a little while before he went to sleep, but it actually ended up being nearly 10:30 and that includes LOTS of discipline to get him to stay in bed.

Yesterday was a very exhausting day....whew.

Thankfully, today has been quite a bit better and I'm praying for a normal day tomorrow.

Bittersweet

After 6 months, it is time for Rachael to bid adieu to mommy's milk. If you've been reading here for a while, you know that she hasn't nursed since we were in the hospital, so that means that I have been exclusively pumping for just under 6 months - and I have three kids.

In the early days, I thought about just giving up (cold turkey) EVERY SINGLE DAY. I just kept telling myself I could make it another week and up until recently, it worked. After some recent out of town travels and full day outings, I've realized that it's just too much to keep up with now. Imagine keeping up with 3 kids, the house, running all of the errands, feeding the baby AND pumping every 3 hours - 5/6 times per day - at roughly 30 minutes per session (this includes rinsing pump parts and storing milk). Lugging my pump around and pumping in really odd places (the van, grandparents' home) and having to plan so much ahead for everything has gotten the better of me.

I've cut back to 3 times a day and I'm dropping one pumping each Saturday. In just over two weeks will be the end for me. Rachael has been receiving a bottle of formula at bedtime since she was itty-bitty and I have enough milk stored to gradually switch her to formula over the next month.

One of the more difficult parts of this change is that I will never again have the pleasure of providing this type of nourishment for a child - because there will be no more children for me (at least not biological children). In the end, I know this is what is good for my family right now. I am thankful that I have been able to provide the best nutrition for her as long as I have.

Overboard

Do you think I watch this show just a tad too much???

Jacob got a piece of paper and pencils out to draw and this is what he came up with, all on his own.

I promise I do not abuse him!

Eli is smack dab in the middle of 2 year old turmoil. Some may call it the terrible two's, but I refuse to refer to it as that because that's a mindset I do not want to put myself in. The truth of the matter is, he's testing boundaries to the full extent he can, he's trying to be independent and "do it myself" and he's very easily bored. That's all it really comes down to.

In the midst of this inner conflict he's going thru (which lemme tell ya, is ROUGH on mama) he's developed a sense of 'my-way-or-else' and does some really bizarre things. He's been known to smash himself into the floor or run head-on into a wall. He's been seen throwing things at Jacob, head butting Michael and me and crying/whining LOTS. Before you get all "well, you should discipline him" with me, you should know that my days are consumed with disciplining him. We are slowly starting to see improvement in his obeying and in his general demeanor. He is of the personality type that you have to be EXTREMELY consistent in discipline and not slack in the least bit - not even once.

So, this morning it was no surprise to me when he told me "no" about something. When I then told him he was in trouble, he decided the best course of action when I took his hand was to start flailing around and trying to get away from me. In the process he managed to fling his head into my arm and bust his nose (fortunately, it was my arm and not the metal frame of the futon we were sitting near). He finally decided to calm down when he realized he'd hurt himself (and bloodied his nose). He did still get in trouble, though.

My constant prayer in guiding this child is that God would give me the wisdom to know how to deal with him in the most Godly/loving way possible, the peace to not completely lose it and the strength to endure this tough season. I firmly believe that God only lets us get into situations that we can handle with His guidance, but it's those days when I stubbornly don't lay my burdens at the cross where I feel out of control and like I can't make it another day. The Lord is my source of strength. Without Him I would be lost. I am far from the mother I know God desires me to be, but each day I am learning.

Reality.

Last week on Tuesday I had a REALLY busy morning. I dropped the boys off at preschool, then had to go to the dr., had to wait at the pharmacy, feed Rachael and then back to get the boys.

THEN because I had such a rushed morning, we got fast food (ICK)....

When we got home, the boys ate, then went to bed for naps. I then fed Rachael again and put her down for a nap. Then I ate (in the living room) and pumped. Whew! When I walked back into the kitchen after eating, this is the mess I found:

I think I might have said out loud "oh, boy, what a mess"! Let's see what we have strewn across the counters, starting on the far side - the crockpot is actually in use, dirty kitchen towels/rags, Michael's coffee mug, a finished bottle, loaf of bread, fast food trash, freshly pumped milk, 2 bottles of children's tylenol (1 empty, 1 new), playdoh, my planner, toothbrush that I got at the dentist the week before (it had been in my purse), new library books, a wetbag with dirty clothes/diapers in it, preschool papers, mail, Eli's remote control car.

Those are all things that are not suppose to be out on the counters.

And here's what it looked like 20 minutes later:

Aaaahhhh, there's nothing like a clean kitchen!!

Just keepin' it real here at Bloggin' Mama!

We made a trip to Oklahoma City this past weekend for a special occasion - Rachael's dedication. Pastor Lawrence Neisent of Destiny Christian Center, Intl., our friend and previous pastor was wonderful to work us in on a Sunday when he wouldn't normally be doing a baby dedication. He and his wife, Tracy are great friends of ours and Lawrence dedicated both of the boys for us, so I thought it would be special if he would do Rachael's, as well. A great big thank you goes out to our Destiny family. We love and miss each of you. The friendships we cultivated while we were in Oklahoma will last a lifetime.

Our prayer has always been that we will seek God's guidance in the ways we instruct and love our children. God has given us the amazing opportunity to be earthly parents to these children. He has entrusted them to our care. Who they become is a direct reflection of the way they were raised. We desire them to be Godly men and women and ask God to direct us in every way of our life so that we might be the best examples/instructors possible. It is NOT an easy task, nor one to be taken lightly - there are eternal consequences.

My apologies for the quality of the photo, apparently I had the camera on the wrong setting for our friend.

The trouble with the internet

Just before we left to go to Florida I hurt my back. I have no idea what I did because I simply woke up one morning and it was awfully painful. Probably not something that could have happened from rough sleep.

That was 3.5 weeks ago and it still hurts. I have tried taking it very easy and just sitting around. I've tried HOT baths, heating pads, tylenol, exercising, heeled shoes, flats, sneakers, etc. I've even taken some Percocet I had left over from my c-section with Rachael and nothing seems to help for more than a few minutes. Constant movement seems to help a bit, the only thing that actually relieves the pain is lying down on my side (but it comes right back when I get up) and with 3 kids I just can't do either of those all day.

It's HORRIBLE lumbar pain and it's also causing sciatica (no I'm not pregnant). The sciatica is not constant, but the lumbar pain is. I'll tell you that this pain is about a 9 (out of 10) and for me that's terrible, especially since I have a very high tolerance for pain. Oy!

I'm going to call while the kids are napping this afternoon to try to get an appt. with my dr. (or maybe the chiropractor), but I think I've already diagnosed myself. That brings us to the title of this post... a person could really convince herself she was certainly dying by googling/webmd-ing her symptoms. I can't imagine what all kind of crazy things people see doctors thinking they have, simply because they spent a little too much time on the internet. I do think these resources are invaluable for learning more about a condition or diagnosis already received or an upcoming procedure, etc., but be careful.

Back to my self-diagnosis... I think I have a herniated disc in the lumbar region. My mom recently had surgery to repair a herniated disc in the same area and my symptoms are very similar to hers. According to webmd, I have the exact symptoms of a herniated disc.... ugh.

We'll see, though. I'm not a doctor, so I will go see him for a proper/correct diagnosis and treatment plan.