Bittersweet

After 6 months, it is time for Rachael to bid adieu to mommy's milk. If you've been reading here for a while, you know that she hasn't nursed since we were in the hospital, so that means that I have been exclusively pumping for just under 6 months - and I have three kids.

In the early days, I thought about just giving up (cold turkey) EVERY SINGLE DAY. I just kept telling myself I could make it another week and up until recently, it worked. After some recent out of town travels and full day outings, I've realized that it's just too much to keep up with now. Imagine keeping up with 3 kids, the house, running all of the errands, feeding the baby AND pumping every 3 hours - 5/6 times per day - at roughly 30 minutes per session (this includes rinsing pump parts and storing milk). Lugging my pump around and pumping in really odd places (the van, grandparents' home) and having to plan so much ahead for everything has gotten the better of me.

I've cut back to 3 times a day and I'm dropping one pumping each Saturday. In just over two weeks will be the end for me. Rachael has been receiving a bottle of formula at bedtime since she was itty-bitty and I have enough milk stored to gradually switch her to formula over the next month.

One of the more difficult parts of this change is that I will never again have the pleasure of providing this type of nourishment for a child - because there will be no more children for me (at least not biological children). In the end, I know this is what is good for my family right now. I am thankful that I have been able to provide the best nutrition for her as long as I have.